Clarinet Pick-Up Lines

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Here are some clari-nerdy pick up lines guaranteed to garner the love of that special someone!

  • Are you the Kell 17 Staccato Studies? Because you’ve got me tongue-tied!
  • Are you the first movement of the Copland concerto? Because you take my breath away!
  • Are you the Nielsen concerto? Because you make my heart beat faster!
  • Are you Benny Goodman? Because you make me want to sing, sing, sing!
  • Are you a Stravinsky polyrhythm? Because you’re hard to follow!
  • Are you a Brahms sonata? Because I can’t get enough of you!
  • Are you the Mendelssohn Scherzo? Because I always make a fool of myself around you!
  • Are you a handwritten manuscript? Because you’re hard to read!
  • Are you the Mozart manuscript? Because you’re one of a kind!

And a few poems if you’re not feeling the love this Valentine’s Day:

Today is a joke,
I’ve got my rosé;
I’d rather spend time
practicing Klosé.

Roses are red
and so is my heart;
Time to go practice
the concerto of Mozart!

I’m sitting in bed,
watching rom-coms,
Eating some chocolate
and dreaming of Brahms.

I finally give up,
after the hours I dwelled;
Practicing long tones
to sound like Mühlfeld.

Roses have thorns,
Why must love hurt?
I’d rather spend
time with Schubert.

K. 622 is the best,
I love it with all my heart;
Nothing will ever compare
to my love for Mozart.

Messiaen is the best,
I wish he was mine;
Until then, I’ll just play
the Quartet for the End of Time.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Comment below with your nerdiest clarinet or musical pick up line!


  • Dan

    Girls usually run away from me before I can even try to use a pickup line, but let’s make something up…

    You are as sweet as a fresh reed.
    You are as sharp as the fork Eb/Bb.

    One that has a chance to work: want a free recork/repad/overhaul?

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